24 hours, my facebook account had been deleted. Fuah! That was a tough consideration. It was also hard to say bye to Kenneth (remembering that I used to say "bye" to him, while he was saying "hi"). He said it's not easy to say a real bye to a friend who always shares secrets. Kenneth and I liked to share secrets and felt silly, laughed on it. Great friend, Kenneth. Unfortunately he doesn't have Twitter or Skype to keep communicating so he couldn't to talk to me anymore. He told me someday we're gonna talk again. I hope so.
One of my consideration to shut down facebook account was : my egoism had enough on everything.
I have been thinking why people have selfishness? Like, forcing other people to do something? What's the point of making your own kids to date someone whom they don't really want to be with? Or like, abusive attitude. What's the point of torturing your own son or daughter just because you were raised that way? It doesn't make sense.
Facebook has been so frustrating lately. After everything that has happened (my other previous posts reveal "everything"), I need to "rescue" myself. My relationship is so messed up and associate in Facebook just worsen it. People said needs 2 people to destroy a relationship, in my case 3 people. My boyfriend, his forced-girlfriend, and me. 3 people, 2 different relationships with 1 same guy.
They (who are not me) posted some kinds of "lovers things" on facebook. And the guy, who I really liked, seems so happy about that. 1st egoism. He never posted that kind of things when he was with me. I was laughing.. laughing.. and my laugh turned into sigh. No, I didn't cry.
And their egoism came up after some time. A lot of egoism and BOOM! It slapped me in my face, showed me that I don't have to go this far. Nowadays, I left alone. Their egoism wins, it seems. Because it hurts me this bad.
But wait. I did have some egoism too.. I stood in this situation, fought for something that I should have, and kept this relationship. My 1st egoism. And I decided to do some other egoism. I thought I have found why people have selfishness : to protect themself. From suffering, from being hurt.
I leave, I move on, I don't give a f*ck for them. That's my 2nd egoism. They will be happily ever after anyway. The day I stop crying, the day I stop caring. I do stop caring. If his mom could use her egoism to tear us apart, let the time decide what kind of egoism to revenge it. So, f**k you, Egoism! I stand on your side for this moment.
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