Pu-i-si

Menulis Puisi itu bisa gampang bisa susah, bos. Tanya Chairil Anwar! Anyway, di semester ini diajarin menulis puisi pake metode seru. Nulis puisi pake inisial. Kalo ga ngerti maksudnya, inget-inget deh dulu pas SMP pernah bikin surat cinta model beginian. Minimal pernah bikin biodata macem gini di binder temen. Kalo beneran ga ngerti, masa mudamu tidak berapi-api.

Berhubung puisi pertama nulis pake inisial nama panggilan, 10 menit selesai. Puisi kedua pake nama panggilan-yang-lebih-lengkap, sehari ga selesai. Pas (akhirnya) selesai, puisinya ga masuk akal, jadi mulai dari awal lagi tapi garapnya dari bawah :

M………
E……
I…..
D….
I….
N….
A….
Rupanya anak kucing.

Entah puisi macam apa yang berakhir dengan ‘Rupanya anak kucing’. Diam-diam saya bikin biodata.

Metode kedua pake lagu. Alias ‘metode ngebaperin mahasiswa’. Karena garap puisi in-a-rush, ngeshuffle lagu di HP, dapetnya Angin Pujaan Hujan - Payung Teduh. Beneran baper.

Lagu kedua pengen pake Fuer Elise-nya Beethoven. Ga dilanjutin karena ga ada liriknya. Dan baper.

Lagu ketiga berharap ga baper, jadi pake lagu Haus am See - Peter Fox. Lagunya nggak bikin baper, saya optimis. Mulai nge-list kata-kata terus disusun.

Und am Ende der Strasse steht ein Haus am See.
Orangenbaumblätter liegen auf dem Weg.
Ich hab 20 Kinder; meine Frau ist schön.
Alle kommen vorbei, ich brauch nie rauszugehen.

kata-kata yang di ambil :

‘Rumah di tepi danau’
‘20 anak’

Yea good! Sekarang bikin puisinya :

Ingatkah kau dulu
kita pernah duduk dan bicara
tentang masa depan :
sebuah rumah di tepi danau
dan dua puluh putra yang kau ingin punya

yaiks, baper.

Kesimpulan : Saya tidak (atau belum) punya bakat.

Eagle

Everyone has problems
No one can help, but yourself

Remember what Soe Hok Gie says :

The eagle flies alone

Grandpa

I rarely met my paternal grandparents. It was because they live in Ambon and it's quite far from Java. Yea, I'm not 100% Javanese. My father is an Ambonese, my mom is Javanese. I was born and raised in Java with Javanese customs and sooo little Ambonese customs. So, if you are one of my friends who wonder why my family speaks Indonesian and doesn't speak Javanese at home, now you know.

My paternal grandma visited us more often than grandpa did. I met my grandpa fewer than 10 times in my life, and it was always him who came to Java. I went to his residence once.

Grandpa with his 2 y.o granddaughter (me) feeding the chicken

But there are a lot of things I remember about my grandpa, tho. He was tall, he was quite skinny for me, his skin was dark, he has loud voice and always speak with thick Ambonese accent. When he smiled, you could see his white teeth shimmering. He always wrapped a white cloth around his head, I didn't know why did he do that, I never asked. When he came to Java and we didn't have that kind of cloth here, he always wrapped small white towel around his head instead.

My grandpa hated cold air. When he came here few years ago, we took him to Batu, another small city near Malang and a cold city, he couldn't do anything but sit in our car and didn't want to go out. Maybe because he spent most of his life living near beach where the air is warm.

He loved Bollywood films! When I was a kid, I used to sit near him and we watched Indian films for hours together. After that we had lunch and went straight back to the living room and watched another Bollywood film.

Grandpa was a... registered nurse? He wasn't a doctor but his job was similiar to a doctor, we called him 'mantri kesehatan' here ._. I remembered, once when we where staying at my uncle's house and my grandparents were there too, I was ill. My grandpa gave me a painkilling injection. After that, I refused to meet him for few days because I was scared.

I couldn't remember any other memories, but my parents told me some stories. Like, how he held me in his arm when I was a baby, or that one day when my grandpa and I (as a little kid) went to a drugstore, we were walking together hand in hand, we went through my father's office and he saw us from the window. Or the last time he was at our place, he told my mom not to leave him alone at home all the time no matter how busy she was.

Today, my grandfather passed away. I realized I couldn't make any more memories with my grandfather. It's sad, very unfortunate, but seeing him being ill and weak made me and my whole family even more sad.

Dear, Tete, you said you want to see all your grandchildren at your house, but yea, God knows you better see Him first.. Sleep well, Tete, we will see you soon..

Tumblr.

You see I have a tumblr account. Okay, if you don't know, you can check 'My other side' section on the right part of this blog and click 'A girl' link.

Yea that's my tumblr.

And you may notice that I rarely update my tumblr. By 'rarely' I mean.. like.. once a year. I have reasons for this :

1. It needs aaaaaa veeery long time to load. I hate things that work that way.
2. I just prefer blogger than tumblr. Don't ask me about Wordpress *never use it*
3. Is this the time for you to ask me 'why don't you just delete your tumblr account then'? I don't know, but the answer is no.

Maybe there are too many creative people on tumblr and I feel like I don't belong there. But the very right reason for me is the #1. I will try to update it tho, maybe once in a month this time :p

Death of Annelies Mellema

'Just few hours after we recieved this last letter, a telegram arrived.

MY DEEPEST AND SAD CONDOLENCES ON THE PASSING AWAY OF MADAME ANNELIES. PANJI DARMAN.

And so the tension of all this time, which had utterly destroyed our nerves, reached the moment of explosion.'

Pramoedya Ananta Toer, Child of All Nations.

Translated by Max Lane 

Poor Annelies. In Netherlands, the land of her own ancestors, away from her beloved ones, the pretty princess died. I feel like giving her a hug and tell her not to die, but I'm nobody. All I can do is sitting here, trying not to sob, and keep reading... I'm sorry, Annelies.

The Cure for Influenza

I'm having flu right now. It sucks.

My uncle told me once, flu has no other cure than a good rest and healthy food.







And maybe someone's hug?
*cuddles a pillow*

Dear Jn,

I think I have to make this right. I know you hate it if I use your real name in here, my personal blog. But this time, just this once. It's the end.

I'd say this with no tears.
Some people can't get over from 3 years of relationship in one day. You can. I can't.
Maybe it wasn't love at the first place, maybe it was just silly feelings. We were kids, anyway.
I was happy, because.. maybe I thought it was all real.
It turned out just like another story.
Maybe I am a bad person. I can't understand myself either. But honestly, I was just being me around you.
Maybe I was so rude that I got mad so easily.
Maybe you are right, we weren't right.
We can't be together. It was quite obvious since the day-1. I've told you, we were kids, we were naive.
I just saw the differences we should have seen at first.

Breaking-up is never easy.
It never is when you think about 'this is the one'.
I finally knew you didn't think about that to me. You never did.
I deal with it.

Now is now.
I know you already have feelings for another girl.
I never think about having a new relationship recently.
But life is about meetings.
And partings.
I don't know if I finally meet someone again and fall in love again.
I just don't have any intention to.

Sad things start happening.
We were close. Soooo close. We talked about many things till dawn.
Now we don't even talk for once a day. Oh, how could people change so fast.
I've missed a lot of details from times we had been through together.
I can't recall those times anymore in a good order.
I admit I start forgetting things. I know you are happy if I can forget about 'us'.
But I don't erase anything about it.

I just don't want you to go that fast.
I just wonder, why can't we just stay and start being friends?
I just wonder, why we stop caring?
I just wonder, would you ever remember me for one second and wonder how am I doing?
I just wonder, why can't we meet somewhere someday and sit down in a coffee shop and talking about life?
But you wouldn't like it, would you?
I'm just a part of your painful past

You can hate me
I can't
You can forget me
I can't
You can leave
I can't


Let's just be happy
You are happy
I am happy
But not together
We are happy in our own way

Let's not make this into a good bye
I will be here, if you'd ever miss me
I will be here, if you'd ever want to talk
I will be here, if you'd ever need anything
We used to know each other so well.
I wish we stay that way forever. As friends.