That's okay, tho. I mean I don't want to see something from a side which people always say 'one side'. I'd prefer to call it 'the tragedy side' to make it more sounds dramatic. Hey, sometimes something dramatic makes everything more beautiful. Don't see or think about something only from one side, man!
Okay, so I've been spending this week crying and crying and asking myself, whhhhyyyyy whhhhyyyyy? Now I think I maybe look like Cee-Lo who sings 'I see you driving round town with a guy I knoooow and I'm like forgetttt yoooouuuu' but a bit sexier. But then I realized that... it's wasting time. I've been spending 3 years being with someone only to find out that he's stranger. He needs less then 3 months to move on and do I need forever? Noooo. He took me as I was nothing to him. I wasn't important to him at the first place, so why would I stop being awesome because of someone who made me feel so little and unimportant? I feel like 'hey.. I wasn't like this, im not like this.' And voila, I move on. I TRY.
I just thought about it again. I asked him whether I was a bad person so he dumped me or not. He came up with 'you are sensitive person who has just had a rough youth and life' to describe me. At one part I couldn't stop laughing. Well, he dumped me! He just pushed me away like what I'd been doing all those times was nothing. And now he said something like I'm a troubled kid whose life is totally ruined. I feel like... oh... well then... so... How should I react to that?
 |
| Maybe like this? Haha! |
God, I wish he does read this. But I wish he doesn't hate me because of this.
I don't hate him. I don't hate his new girlfriend. They give me things to my rough youth and life. Pains in present days and good laughs about myself in the future. It's not that bad, right?
I'm listening to Charlie Chaplin's words now, Well, I'm not actually listening since he was famous at the silent movie era. Ok, so I'm reading his words. Anyway, I've always liked Chaplin. He said : To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it! I'm not a silly little girl who gets down over bullies and sad things. I get through those pains all the time and my youth and life isn't rough simply because I'm still laughing and having fun.
Yes I've been bullied
Yes my family isn't always nice
Yes I have only a little friends
Yes people don't take me seriously
Yes I can't always do anything
Yes my (ex-)boyfriend dumped me for other girl and he cheated me twice before
Yes people may think I'm good for nothing
Yes I'm pathetic
No, I'm not sad because I still have a good laugh.
This is the tragedy and comedy side of my life. And it's not rough. And I am the main character. And I'm ok.
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